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(note: If you'd like the chords for any of these songs; email me and I'll send them to you.)

THE HYPNOTIST
(C.Robertson 2003)

1. I went down to a part of town I’d never been before
Saw a sign, a strange design in paint upon the door
It seemed to say a cabaret was going on inside
It was locked, but when I knocked, the door swung open wide.

2. The room was filled with people of varied dress and age
the lights grew dim and a hypnotist walked out upon the stage
he bade me to come up and help and pointed to a chair
when I went up and sat down, he held me in his stare:

chorus: His gaze was so hypnotic, he put me in a trance,
he made me bark just like a dog and do a silly dance.
And I don’t remember anything at all
Until I woke at the police station staring at these walls.

3. They told me they had found me, a knife lay at my feet
Standing on a doorstep on an unfamiliar street
And when they looked inside they found a woman dead
She was the wife of a hypnotist, one policeman said.

(chorus)

4. People say you can’t be made to act against your will
People say you can’t be made to take a knife and kill
But here I sit in spite of it, alone in this cold cell
And curse the day I saw his gaze and ended up in hell.

(chorus)

KIRTLAND MURDER BARN
(C.Robertson 2000)

The family seemed so nice
Just a little withdrawn
It’s not the kind of place
Where this kind of thing goes on.
I’ve lived here most my life
On this little ten acre farm.
Now I live across the street from the Kirtland Murder Barn.

I ain’t never seen so many cops
Walking up and down my street
I ain’t never seen so many reporters
Looking for the beat
Scribbling in their notebooks
And talking in their microphones
As the cops dig up the bones in the Kirtland Murder Barn.

Snakes and ladders, Latter Day Saints.
From the Church down the road.
You is what you is and you ain’t what you ain’t,
But it ain’t no religion I know…

They arrested two people in Kansas
Two others in Bates City, Mo.
The cops found four bodies
Buried under the floor.
Me, I don’t understand,
The people come and go:
Pointing out their windows at the Kirtland Murder Barn.

DEAD EGYPTIAN BLUES
Michael Smith, ©1985

Oh, Mister Tut, what good's it do?
They love your chair, but nobody cares for you
Egyptian nights were never colder
And all your friends are thousands of years older
Whatever happened to that gang down by the Sphinx
Seems they're only forty winks away
Those girls from Cairo with their belly button jewels
Made you play the fool, yesterday, yesterday.
And now you keep in shape with Elmer's Glue
Because you're all wrapped up in them Dead Egyptian Blues.
Oh, Mister Tut, they love the mask,
Do they love it, honey, sweetheart, don't ask.
Where's those baby browns and that pearly smile
The smile that drove 'em wild by the early Nile.
You make one terrific hieroglyphic, don't you bro'
Centuries of standing sideways turned you to a pro.
Those girls from Cairo, who filled your heart with lust
They've all turned to dust yesterday, yesterday
And those bandages don't do that much for you
Because you're all wrapped up in them Dead Egyptian Blues.
Oh, Mister Tut, they dig the tomb, yeah;
All that gold leaf brightens up a room
But what's the diff, when you're stiff, what riff they're playin'
When your ears have spent five thousand years decayin'
What does it matter, what possessions you may boast
When you're just a ghost, it's only jive, Clive,
Your sarcophagus is glowin' but your esophagus is showin'
Who cares how rich you are, love, when you look like Boris Karloff
Call Nautilus, they might even refund your dues
Because you're all wrapped up in them Dead Egyptian Blues.
(Instrumental)
Oh, Mister Tut, you wait and see
Another few thousand years, they're gonna dig up me
And I'll have all my little treasures near at hand
A CD of Sgt. Peppers' Lonely Hearts Club Band;
A little dried-out Maui Wowie, crumbled in a bong;
A letter from my honey, sayin' "Love ya, kid, so long"
Some peanut butter sandwiches, that've long returned to sand
Not much gold or silver, but, Tut, I think you'll understand
That in my way, I'll be just like you
All wrapped up in them Dead Egyptian Blues.

IN PRIMER
(C.Robertson '03)

she’s still in primer
it doesn’t do any harm
a final finish
would just diminish
the best part of her charm
like my camaro
a sixty-nine
it’s such a blast
it goes real fast
and it has those classic lines

she’s got rough edges
but I don’t mind
she’s like cane sugar
sweet, yet unrefined

repeat first verse

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN AND NATALIE WOOD
(Craig Robertson 2003)

Christopher Walken and Natalie Wood
were out on a boat on the sea
"Christopher Walken", said Natalie Wood,
"This ocean’s a mystery."
If I had a lifeboat I’d drift away far from this scenery
If I had a lifeboat I’d drift away out where nobody could see me.
Christopher Walken and Natalie Wood
were out on a boat on the sea
"Christopher Walken", said Natalie Wood,
"This ocean’s a mystery."
Bottles of whiskey afloat on the waves they bob up and down on the tide
bottles of whiskey afloat on the waves I just went along for the ride.
Christopher Walken and Natalie Wood
were out on a boat on the sea
"Christopher Walken", said Natalie Wood,
"This ocean’s a mystery."